A message to my daughter, Harriet, on turning two
© Harry KH | The Ocean Race | 11th Hour RacingIt was my daughter's second birthday recently, and I was in France with UpWind by MerConcept. It's always hard to be away from my family, but when I am off doing something I love, that takes away some of the pain of separation.
In a quiet moment I sat down to think about my dreams for Harriet, what I want her future to look like, and what my wife, Sally, and I, as well as many others, are doing to help create a fair and equal society for all.
Dear Harriet
You have just turned two and what an incredible ride it has been so far, watching the world through your eyes. You are a curious, brave, strong, and funny little girl who never gives up on the challenges you face.
Your Mom and I frequently get asked the question, “Will Harriet be an Olympian like you two? Will she also become a sailor?”. I keep saying that you will be whatever you want to be.
My dream for you is that you find something you are so passionate about that it will make you feel joy and accomplishment each and every day. It will make you wake up early in the morning eager to get going, and you will fall asleep tired at night knowing that you had another day where what you did made you happy.
I have no ambitions for you, H, only the dream that we are raising you to be a good human being, someone with strong values, who is compassionate, and who cares for other people and our planet. I would love for you to see how far hard work, passion, and strong ethics can bring you in life: keep people close to you, respect them, and love them.
Harriet, Francesca’s daughter, onboard the Ocean Fifty UpWind by MerConcept © Francesca ClapcichA few years ago I would have been more scared to have a daughter knowing that achieving some goals might be harder, knowing that you might find a lot of closed doors, a lot of hard words both said and unsaid, a lot of “you belong in the kitchen”. Be confident that you do not! You belong in any environment that makes you feel safe, valued, heard, and respected. You do belong in this world, you belong in the job that you are qualified to do, and you belong in the family that loves you.
There are so many incredible sportswomen out there who are winning races, and changing the game, both on and off the field… Don’t pick a hero, pick a movement. Choose your heroes from the ones who are challenging the status quo, both for themselves and for everybody around them. They are doing it for you too, H; for you to be safe and to be treated equally when it will be your turn. Watch them, listen to them, and support them, and I hope you feel you have two more in your own house supporting you.
Mommy and I fought, and are still fighting, in our sport of sailing to make sure you don’t have to fight anymore. You can watch us living our lives in the sport we love, supporting other athletes, and racing at the highest levels. The days I have away from home are hard without you, H, but I know I’m doing the job I love and trying to leave a better sport for you (if you choose it), or for any other little girl like you.
Harriet and Francesca onboard the Ocean Fifty UpWind by MerConcept © Francesca ClapcichHarriet, keep being curious, ask the hard questions, find the answers, look at the world, and think about what you want to see. Fight to make it a better place, and fight to make it inclusive for everyone.
Always remember your Moms are here to support you, to keep you safe, and to let you follow your dreams… I know sometimes it will be hard for us to let you go, but be brave, and no matter the path you choose to take, know that we will be walking by your side - not in front, not behind, just right by your side.
We love you Harriet, as you are and we always will.